| Another yellow bird story
I’m going through my childhood books
And find that one called “the yellow bird”
Can’t remember what it’s about
But it strikes me like a big hit
Feels like being on the point of discovering a secret
Something no one knows except of me
It reminds me to have a look for my yellow bird
Yeah, Conor, sometimes I just forget about it
All these saying goodbyes,
The lonely bed moments make me blind,
My eyes get dizzy when I eat too much,
Sleep too much, dream too much, don’t act enough
I thought my window was open
But it never was
The wind was blowing no breeze
Because the window was closed
And now I kicked it open
But the wind still won’t blow
And the yellow bird
Yes, I can hear him sing
But he won’t come in
We’re not in the same cage
Well, maybe it’s all about getting out of all the cages
Maybe it’s all about leaving them all behind
But dizzy eyes and closed windows form steel bars
If I could only listen while I’m sleeping
Watch and read while sleeping
Because: maybe he flies in at night
While I’m dreaming
Have you experienced that:
Not being able to go to sleep
Because of having to hear that same song again and again?
If I could sleep forever,
I could forget about everything,
sing the Dandy Warhols
But what if you get stuck in a dream?
No, I don’t wanna be like that
(At least not that often)
It’s no excuse
It’s the way it is
Do you really think I choose to be a wreck?
Who would? Who would?
Life is how it is
Not how it was
The young folk singer said
Who got over the pains
Of discovering that everyone’s alone
Yeah, my girl, now I understand
What you meant by saying:
Basically, everyone’s alone
Being together is just a plus
It’s like that
Cause you can’t put the weight of your luck
On others’ peoples’ shoulders
You can’t make your luck dependent on another person
You have to be lucky
You’re free to be lucky
Just like you are
By yourself
You can’t expect to get lucky
Through someone else
Who could take your luck away in a second
In the glimpse of an eye
By a single word
But all these saying-goodbyes…
I’m so scared of being alone
Although there’s people by my side
Who love me, who call me
If only I had known these songs three years earlier
If only I had known them in the dark
Well, I knew other songs
Lucky, I knew anything at all
It’s okay, it’s alright
Stop thinking about it too much
Don’t let life pass you by
Don’t worry, be happy, you say
Yeah, I know, I know
Heard it a few times before
But why can’t you understand?
It’s not that easy
It’s not just a decision to be made
It’s not just a decision to be made
(I make decisions all the time)
It’s not just one window to be opened
(I kick against locked and closed windows once in a while
And every time I’m really putting strenght in my kicks)
But why can’t you understand?
It’s not that easy
Something bigger, maybe vague
Has got me caught
Keeps me in bed, when I should dance
Makes me lie, when I should laugh
Can’t you understand?
I’m making an effort every day
Otherwise I’d already taken a run-up to not only kick
But jump out my window
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not all of this is relating to overeating. and it's kind of messy and including way too many thoughts. but it also got all in it, all the things that won't go off my mind, that stupid melancholy and unhappiness that seems to never really go away. or always come back.
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Another yellow bird story
